Old Flames Still Burn…

There is a dichotomy within the nature of our beings as vampires, an emotionless instinct for isolation that is constantly at war with a desperate need for another to mirror our own pain, our own desire and unquenchable thirst. Those of us who are lucky enough to receive proper guidance in our youth are taught to watch this closely, monitoring it with every waking second, with every breath, to make sure we do not allow one side or the other to consume us entirely. It is a delicate balancing act, but crucial, for even the slightest imbalance could cost us or sanity and cast us down into a dark well from which we may never be able to crawl out of. When alone, I manage my own balance with ease, the tugging at my soul barely noticeable after so many years of practice.

There is but one who has the power to cause that stability to splinter: Thaedus, my dark haired one I have spoken of before. His mere existence is enough to drive me over the edge, to make me desire both to flee from all of humanity, lest I have to face my more human side with all of its foibles, and allow myself to completely surrender to the beast within, that primal essence which makes me what I am. From the very moment he returned to my city my dreams became tumultuous and exhausting, my mind, even upon waking, constantly preoccupied with nagging questions and unjustified anxieties. I had not seen him again, since our one brief encounter months ago. I left him to his mysterious life and I went back to my own, as I should, only to be taken overseas and away from him. It was a good enough distraction while I was away, but the moment I returned, I knew he was still in the city, my city, and still unwilling to come to me. Forcing myself to be patient, I have waited, knowing in my heart that something more than a fledgling’s desire for independence from his Maker keeps him at bay. Something dark and sinister, which makes me fear for him. However, tonight, I received a note, left upon my doorstep. It was in his handwriting, asking me to meet him in the park at midnight tonight where he would explain everything…

I worry…

~ by vampirefaust on February 19, 2008.